End of the Line for Jenny Anghers

Ficly for today. Surprise ending. Truckin’ away on the book. 60 pages now. Stay tuned to news on that this week.

The water was everywhere. On the walls, on the floor. Covering him.

She kicked and screamed between gulping gasping breaths while he held her down. She was fighting hard. Pushing, she groped for the edge of the tub, trying to keep away from the water, knocking his hands aside.

What were the neighbors going to think? He wanted to shut her up for just a second, so no one called the cops, god forbid.

She was crying now, yelling at him to let go, but where would she have gone? She had no one else. This was the end of the road.

Two-year-old Jenny Anghers was going to take her bath and like it.

Originally on Ficly: http://ficly.com/stories/17188

Share

Drummer Jokes

Working on a Ficly, hoping to eventually write a really good short story, but here are some choice drummer jokes in the mean time.

• How do you tell if the stage is level?

The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth.

How can you tell when a drummer’s at the door?

He doesn’t know when to come in.

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better
Neil Peart coulda done it.

What do you call a drummer with half a brain?

Gifted.

What does a drummer use for contraception?

His personality

What do you call a smart drummer?

A piano player.

Why are so many guitarist jokes one liners?

So the drummer can understand them.

lolololol. I’ll put up the Ficly soon.

Share

How to Melt Eight Feet of Snow

Today’s Ficly! My plan is to write a bunch, and then put them up on ficly all at once in a week or two in order to get some attention.

The snow outside was the heaviest I’d seen in a long while. It was still coming down when I’d finally cleared the driveway for the second time, and I was getting worried. I didn’t really have the steam to keep going out there and plowing away. For a few hours I sat inside and watched as my hard work disappeared under the white blanket.

At least the fire was nice, and I had wood stacked up in my shed just outside the back door.

It also occurred to me that I really didn’t have anywhere to put the snow if I did go back out to shovel; eight foot high piles lined the driveway. My daughter came in and crouched by the fire in her pajamas, staring into its burning heart. That was the solution.

In hindsight, running out in my underwear with an aerosol-can-and-zippo-lighter makeshift flame thrower while screaming and laughing as the flames licked the frozen crystals may have damaged my relationship with my neighbors more permanently than I had anticipated.

Originally on Ficly:  http://ficly.com/stories/16879

Share

The A-Z Alphabet of Awesomeness

Goodies.

As a general rule, I tend to laugh at people who are obsessed with the idea of awesomeness. I like trying to do things or make things that are awesome, and like to spend less time talking about it. Also, not everything in life has to be “awesome”. Buuuut that said: this particular image of the very funny “A-Z Alphabet of Awesomeness” over at neillcameron.com may very well encapsulate my idea of what awesome is even better than that picture of the nun punching a shark in the face.

So in sum: lol.

Share