Ficly: Shell of a Man

There’s… there’s just no excuse for this one. I kid. I actually like it. Let me know what you think.

He almost slipped on the shampoo that spilled to the suctioned rubber mat on the shower floor. When he caught himself before chipping a tooth, he clutched the handle on the wall and sighed deep relief, looking down at the drain as the spout battered the back of his head and the water dripped off his eyelids and nose and lips. Eventually he convinced himself to shut off the water and step out. In the steamy bathroom, he looked at his face. This was sixty-five. This was what he had become. He looked at his stomach. Loose skin grinning through his shreds of youth. He looked at the back of his hands.

He ought to cut his nails.

He knew he was getting older. His house looked like the house his parents used to own in Miami, because the nail clipper, like everything else, was exactly where he expected it to be. Next to the bottle of light-green toothpaste in the medicine cabinet with the sliding mirror doors that took a good shove to open.

Even his toilet had a furry pink slip-cover which greeted his rear when he sat down. ‘Christ,’ he thought. ‘This bathroom could be blue. It could be anything but this pepto-bismal pink.’ The wall paper was coming off at every corner.

He clipped one nail.

Then another.

His right hand first. Started on his second. When he got to his left ring finger he slipped and cut his finger tip. The clipper was dropped and he gripped his finger prematurely before the pain set in.

And he waited. Waited for the shock, the sting, a spot of blood. But none came.

Eventually he let go of his hand and looked. It was strange. A bit of skin was certainly missing, but it didn’t seem like there was anything on the other side. Just a kind of… hollowness.

He pressed and prodded, and eventually the edges of the hole chipped and the opening widened and he was able to slide one finger, into the other. His fingertip, the one was wasn’t bleeding- well, it was almost all gone. Little shards in the wastebasket.

Of course it was odd but there was something all too fascinating about it and he picked up the clipper and snipped away until the finger was entirely missing. Then he moved onto the others. He clipped a pinky-finger at the base and it dropped to the floor and shattered. Soon he had taken off the entire arm, clawing away at the facade-like flesh until naught but his shoulder remained. He had to find out what was inside him. Next he removed a leg, which toppled away from his hip, off the toilet, and disintegrated to dust across the expanse of tile. With one leg gone the other simply had to go, and soon after, his penis.

He beat his chest in to see if he had a heart, and he reached through the hole and felt around. There was nothing for a long while, but he knew there had to be… something. Anything.

And then someone from within grabbed his wrinkled hand. Their hand was soft and young, and out climbed a young boy. And the old man knew that the boy was him, and through parched lips he said, “Oh…”

“I knew you were in there somewhere.”

And the boy stood before him and hugged him, and the legless old man smiled, and broke into ten million pieces.

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Ficly: Single Socks

One last Ficly from home.

I looked at the bar of soap in the dish by the faucet and wondered if it was going to remember me.

Back in my room, the half-full closet was looking half-empty. There was a tv too big for the dorm room, a few scattered pens and pencils, a mountain of dust, and the lingering notion that I had grown up with this place, and not simply in it.

I hadn’t vacuumed the floor. The dust bunnies roamed in herds, freed from the clutches of the dresser which had been moved away from the wall in order to reach several long-lost socks. In the end, most of them didn’t have matches. I threw them away. I no longer owned any socks without matches. I was whole.

In the garage, two cars were packed with everything I needed and everything I didn’t and things I wouldn’t have room for.

It seemed for a moment like everything I had ever done had lead to this. Down to the wire. The pumpkin colored paint, the steel bed frame, and me. And that was that.

Originally on Ficly: http://ficly.com/stories/20442

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Short Story: The Bedroom

The advantage to saving everything and knowing where you’ve put it is that years down the road, you actually still do have it.

This was an assignment I did in September of 2006 for Ms McAssey’s 9th grade English class. We had to describe something in detail, that was the assignment. Just describe something. So I described my room. I wrote what I still consider to be a really eloquent, beautiful piece about growing up and how my room reflected nuances of my childhood and a kind of quiet fear of growing up. I turned it in and got a 50 on it. That’s 50 out of 100.

I guess I forgot to do the back side of the sheet. Isn’t that just magical.

Here it is:

A tall wooden door, stained a dark brown, leads into a chaotic room. All the amenities of organization have been placed about the room, a filing cabinet, boxes upon boxes, and a CD tower. It is obvious simply from a passing glance that these tools have yet to be fully utilized. A desk piled knee high with papers of seemingly no importance rests next to the door. Confused by years of arguments about organization, the owner has forsaken all attempts and papers, not having been needed for years, are crammed onto the miserable surface of the desk.

Upon said desk rests a computer, the newest feature of the room. It represents the need for change. Only three weeks ago the desk and arrangement of the furniture were positioned differently, or maybe, in all probability, less time has passed since the desk’s previous habitation. The computer screen displays a vicious show of flashing color as its speakers blare angry music into the hollow room. But hollow is all the room is, and with nobody there, the music is hollow to. As with anything, the sound is muted by the apathy of the fact that no one hears its message.

Adjacent to the desk rests a tank, its resident making futile attempts to escape through the top of its prison. Though loved and treated well, it only sees the need to break free. Each tear at the metal grates barring the top of the tank becomes exponentially more difficult as exhaustion slowly compiles with the notion of the pain of indignity and that its life may be spent fighting the machine of fate that is so dominant over those who can see no other alternatives.
On the opposite side of the room a nightstand sits next to a bed, its glossy red sheen reflecting the light from the southern sun. A small rug is laid out in a ray of light, lined up with the angle of the rays. The clock on the wall reads two o’clock and a watch, lost long ago begins an incessant alarm that shall not stop for the next sixty seconds. A little brown teddy bear is curled up on the end of the bed. Once loved, this is now meant only to be shoved further away at night until it is jammed between the wall and bed, to be forgotten until the ants take it away piece by piece. Other things at this point in the owner’s life have taken precedence to the bear.

The most important artifact of all, the blanket that once provided security and comfort is now folded and remembered only in dreams as time takes its sacrificed life from the box hidden high in a closet and labeled Childhood Memories into oblivion where all loved objects eventually go.

The light level in the room suddenly dims as a cloud passed under the sun. The bed is wrapped in an elegant array of folds and twists of blanket and sheet. It is pressed up against the wall, and the dressings are wrinkled for the sheets were impossible to tuck behind the wall. Near the luminous nightstand is a dresser where nick-knacks and gadgets are askew over the grey alarm clock. A few trophies and old certificates of silly mediocrities rest on the wall over the dresser.

Useless items that undoubtedly have failed to work any longer rest in corners of the room, not bothered to be taken from their places. A box under the bed is laid open on the floor and some items of minor meaning to their owner are saved for the fear that as soon as they are gone they will be wanted. Old stories, written years ago, lay on the floor. Their writer must have been reminiscing on the old days by finding an outlet in his writing. A plethora of magazines having to do with the hobbies of teenage boys rest on the floor, among them, secret love letter. These are things that are to be put in a box and hidden in the closet until twenty years have gone by. These things will be amusing in twenty years. In truth the box is already half destroyed and will be thrown out with the trash in a week, all these things will be forgotten, in twenty years no one will care. A pair of slippers sit under the night table. They do not fit their owner anymore but upon feeling them anyone can tell that they are of the softest fabric. It is no wonder that they remain there.

The windows are bright again, the cloud has passed. The dark purple blinds are pulled back and a Halloween decoration, taken out months earlier, sits near the window, its skeleton face staring ahead indefinitely. It is a monument to the trials of growing older. The holiday it represents no longer means anything to its owner, but like many things in the room, it represents the fear of letting go of anything, the fear of forgetting memories, the fear of losing childhood.

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Ficly: Bedtime for the Last Time

What? Another Ficly? It’s fiction time.

The dog waited at the foot of the stairs. Once or twice that week it crept up laboriously, heaving its old, heavy body up, one step at a time, it’s distended underbelly dragging on the long beige rug that ran the length of the staircase.

When it reached the top, it would pause and sniff, lacking the energy to growl at the odor that permeated that region of the house. More than anything the dog was hungry.

He had not seen the woman in days, and consequently, he had been without food. The kitchen was empty, and the air in the house was growing staler by the hour. The dog would grunt and slide back down the stairs with several graceful thumps. The sound of claws clacking along the edges of the stairs where the wood was exposed from under the carpet was not to be missed.

Back at the bottom, the dog would turn and hold itself as steady as it could before resting back on its fat haunches.

Four days and no one had come looking for her. The dog was the only thing in the world that knew she was gone.

Originally on Ficly: http://ficly.com/stories/20143

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Barrel of a Sun

Wrote this in September of ’09 for and independent fiction study class. Not sure how good it is, you’ll let me know.

The line about the inscription is a shout out to my grandmother, who came up with that phrase, as far as I know.



The sun lifts itself over the eastern hills, greeting chapped earth as dry and cracked as the chalky houses. This is cow country, or it used to be. The one road that leads through town is a stretch of pavement that used to carry three hundred people daily to and from… wherever. Now even those with their health brave enough to venture out onto the burning tar that used to be Main Street will avoid most of the houses. Those from which people entered and never left have a particular, easily identifiable smell, which permeates the air for almost fifty feet around them. One such house lies at the end of the road, where an elderly couple used to live.

Perhaps the story began two days earlier. Coffee grounds, two porcelain dolphins, a record, several bills, a family photo, and one piece of stale bread hit the floor as Eric Sanders cleared the kitchen counter. The utility company had just shut off everyone’s water. The cupboard held several gallons of water, but in the incredible heat, he was forced to preserve his precious resource, and wonder what measures he would be forced to take to keep Rebecca and himself alive. He moved onto the bed, next to her, naked. She never stirred, but her old wrinkled lips, cracking open asked, “How much longer, Eric?”

Her voice was hoarse, a pleading tone was prevalent in her whimper. He offered to get her some water but she refused. She would die later on, and he would never stop wondering if it might have made a difference, made her more comfortable, should she have accepted. He let his head hit the pillow in the dark room.

Opening her eyes, she looked towards the curtains, “It shouldn’t be so hot during the nights. Open the curtains, will you Eric? That’s nice, thank you. Morning already, huh? How long is this supposed to go on honey? I thought the police were going to bring us somewhere else. Like Alaska…” She sighed a deep shaking sigh, thinking of the cool air and snow. Her throat burned and she sat up, coughing and tearing until the discomfort subsided. Eric offered water again, she refused. He shifted nervously.

“What are you saving the water for?”

“Well,” she said, “We might need it later if we’re in trouble.”

She sounded almost as if she believed it. He asked what would happen if they weren’t around later. She avoided his question by coughing again. He spoke.

“The police couldn’t take everyone honey, and hey, I hear Alaska isn’t what’s it’s cracked up to be.”

She gingerly touched her tender broken lips as he said the word “cracked.” It echoed through his mind as well and he looked her up and down. Her feet were pale, and she moved slowly. It was hard to imagine this is what had become of the beautiful Katherine Sanders.

She waited for a moment, then, sitting up, “It isn’t hot there too is it?”

“No…” He whispered as a child might when sharing a secret with another. “I mean, honestly, I’m sure you wouldn’t much like it there.” He rarely lied to her, but occasionally denial was the best remedy for panic. “I’m sure it’s life as usual up in the north.”

“Well, why don’t we go? We could make it!”

Eric knew that she was aware they wouldn’t be able to. Two gallons of fuel in a ’97 Ford pickup wouldn’t get much farther than thirty miles, and there was nowhere to refill the tank. He smiled a broken smile, his lips bled. His tongue felt the upper portion of his mouth, and he scrapped against the dryness. He stopped smiling. Eric was now very stiff, sitting upright in a chair, in the partially lit room. He considered lighting up, but there was only one cigarette left, and the necessity to keep the windows shut would have left smoke in the room. He coughed at the thought.

Outside, he watched a sparrow soar into view of the window, and land gracefully on a leafless tree. It peered through the glass, looked at Eric, swayed on the branch, and plummeted to the dirt below. A hot wind blew across the farming town, which had been transformed into the set of a bad Hollywood movie in a matter of days. There was a moan from across the street that filled the air, and then silence. After several minutes two men came knocking at the door of the house with guns, there was no answer. From Eric’s window he watched the play, protected by the fourth wall.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before he turned from the presentation to look at his wife of 40 years, and he found that little separated his reality from the events unfolding outside. His thoughts were punctuated abruptly.

There was a knock at the door. Then a pounding. Before Eric had even considered answering the call, the door snapped open, swinging into the room on its bent hinges. A young man, sweating, but in altogether decent condition, moved into the apartment. His shirt was covered in a thin red paste. He fingered the trigger of a long rifle, the barrel gleaming in the light from the open window. He pointed at Eric, then Rebecca, and back to Eric. He grunted, angrily.

“Water!”

The man’s accent was foreign, to be sure. He shook slightly, pupils dilated. In another world he would have been another person, maybe somewhere else reading about the hell that was burning its way across North America but, ultimately, not caring, or at most, being too overwhelmed to be able to react. Perhaps his emotions were very much the same now as they might have been were he living in another world. Too overwhelmed to react.

Eric looked at his wife. The man made his demand again, but abruptly lowered his gun and started pacing, scratching the back of his head. His hands shook and he frequently twitched and then screamed. He spoke violently in sentences that were less than coherent. Eric stood, and, for the first time in the week since the temperature had so drastically increased, felt a cold sweat, and it was relieving.

Light crossed the man’s face. He couldn’t have been older than nineteen or twenty. Bullets may miss their mark, and loose their lethality, but desperation is a guaranteed killer. A haze gathered outside as the sun climbed, man’s eternal savior, man’s greatest damnation. Armed with two feet of lead and fire in a neat lock, stock, and barrel package, he approached the window, slowly, moving past Eric, who slid out of the way and went to fetch a bottle of water. What it was like to be trapped in a place where he knew not the language, Eric could not have understood. To be there during a bout with apocalypse? Eric shook his head. Days ago when he still had his strength he might have been panicked, but he enjoyed what he could only describe as an unnerving calm. The young man’s nose dripped with sweat.

Katherine had been staring during the proceedings, and she, being more or less ignored by the gunman, reached for an ashtray to throw at him. She moved slowly. Her old fingers gripped the warm glass surface of the diner-style tray. An aerosol can fell from her bedside table, and the man turned to look, still mumbling to himself. The reflecting light from her shallow ash tray hit the mans eye, and he stepped backwards. The object struck him in the nose with a resounding crunch.

His gun was lifted quickly, and as Eric began to run, or stumble, with a bottle of water in hand, a shot was fired, and Katherine fell backward on her pillow, her stomach shredded. Blood spattered the walls and mixed with that which was already on the man’s shirt. The gun turned to point at Eric, a shaking old man who dropped what he had been holding, and ran to Katherine’s side. He knelt but did not touch her. His knees hit the wood floor. Outside, the two men who had entered the home across the street exited, and one wiped his mouth. They began to run towards Eric’s home. He heard them beat on the door.

Panicked the man raised the weapon to shoulder height, and screamed in his broken English, “Water!”

Holding out his hand, offering the bottle to the man, who then grabbed it violently, Eric looked into the kitchen, towards his dwindling water supply, which had now effectively doubled with the death of his companion. Twenty years ago he had gone on a health kick and redone his kitchen to match his new lifestyle. He had changed the paint, and the appliances. He gave up on exercise four or five months later, but the kitchen stayed. He had bought an enormous stainless steel fridge to keep fruits in so he could eat one after a workout. The fridge was stainless steel because he liked the aesthetics and the idea. He liked being part of the modern world, and looking forward to the future. Those had been his emotions when he saw his fridge. Now it was empty. Now there was now future to enjoy with his fridge, and now even the modern world was gone.

Naked, on his knees, he gestured towards where he kept the water. This man was good looking, unnaturally so. His perfect face, symmetrical, became more beautiful by the second as, bewildered, Eric watched him back up slowly, but with a hurried nature. His good looks were a blatant insult to the destroyed beauty on the bed. Eric wanted to scream, to kill him, but didn’t. Instead he watched, thinking that it would all be over soon, that he would be joining Katherine very soon. The gunman pulled open the cupboard and crammed as many of the bottles as he could into his pants, shirt, and pockets. There were footsteps on the stairs down the hall. The gunman ran from the room, into the hallway, and heading towards the stairs on the opposite side of the building.

Moments past. An eternity. A fraction of a second. With the mangled corpse of his dream girl next to him, time was virtually irrelevant. Eric wanted to bury his head in her breasts and cry. He didn’t save her, he didn’t keep her safe. Her wedding gift to him, a framed picture of them, her inscription reading “Always and All Ways.”

Two men passed the door, one doubled back.

“Eric?” It was one of the farm hands. Likely one of the few people living or dead left in the town. Most had left early on when they still could. The man was silent, looking at Katherine’s remains.

Several gunshots follow in the street below. Eric woke up from his stupor. He went to the window to watch Katherine’s killer run off into the emptiness outside of the small village. His pursuer stopped and spoke towards the window.

“He won’t last long out there.” He said it with a quiet certainty, “Won’t last long anywhere I reckon.”

Eric shook his head. This was Cow Country, or it used to be.

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Dirt

This is a short story I wrote when I was fourteen. I’m busy with the book right now, otherwise I would give ya something new. Enjoy this for now, it’s decent, or so I think. Remember to comment!

DIRT:

Chris was beginning to question the wisdom of the trip. His ancient border collie sat next to him on the front lawn, panting and wheezing in the dew of the morning air. A fog had moved in off the lake overnight and covered the town in a hazy blanket.

Chris looked down onto the sparse layer of grass which, like his dog, like himself, appeared to be balding. He picked up and handful of wet loam and squeezed it in his hand. The drops of water fell off the ball of him palm. He fondled the small mass of earth for a moment before dropping it, wiping his hands on his jeans twice, and slapping both his knees with both hands. He stood. His car, packed with all the things a senile old man might need, or so his doctors implied, waited at the ready. When he had moved a few paces away, his dog slowly stirred and lumbered after him.

Chris was nearing his eightieth birthday, and looked every one of those years. He had bags under his eyes and spotted skin. His hair had transplanted itself from the top of his head to his back. He quivered a little from old age, and as he was sure, an undiagnosed terminal disease.

He pulled his ring of keys out from his pocket and pushed one into the keyhole on the door. The dog leaped in momentarily, and Christopher sat, taking inventory of his trunk. He sighed miserably, noting that an good portion of his truck-space was reserved for his medicines. It was a small trunk, he would admit, but the idea that he was so dependent on anything made him feel vulnerable. Who was he that he couldn’t survive on his own? That he owed his existence to his doctors continued work? And where did it stop?

That was just it. He couldn’t care less when, it was where. He imagined death was just falling asleep, before the dreams came. Sleep wasn’t bad, even if he didn’t dream at all. It would be like never waking up from something he couldn’t remember. The only thing he wanted to know was what he would be surrounded by when it happened. That was the reason for the trip. He wanted control over one last thing. He had told his doctors, and he now wished he hadn’t. Doing this one last thing independent from all outside help was what meant most to him. He was happy to know that his mind hadn’t failed him yet.

When he reached the highway, he briefly checked his hands for dirt, and then patted the back of his dog’s head. His name was Hercules. Fat, waddling Hercules. The model canine. Hercules lifted his head and peered at Chris. The old Volvo rattled on down the interstate.

“Something tells me we won’t get very far,” Chris mentioned to his dog.

The dog barked and put his head out the open window. Chris turned on the radio. He sighed remembering some the family who used to ride in the back seat of his station wagon on long vacations.

A bus of young children passed him around exit one-hundred and two. They stared at him. Just as one of them may have had a realization that he had once been a child a long time ago, Chris thought of it too. It was not such a simple thing to think after all. It surprised his how hurt he felt, that youth still existed in places, even after he had become old. That there were young lives just beginning, embittered him.

Somewhere outside of Syracuse, Chris stopped for directions, having past the same church seven times. Chris lowered the window further and pulled Hercules’s collar so that the dog flopped into the back seat.

A young woman bent at the hip and looked into the car, across the passenger’s side. She tucked a lock of long blonde hair behind her ear. She had gentle features, smooth skin, all in all very feminine and quite striking in her looks.

“Looking for something, I take it?” Her voice was firm and calming.

Chris had never been a womanizer, and he was probably sixty years her senior. Still, he questioned how he might have acted differently were he a younger man.

“Yes, uh, I’m sorry but, can you point me towards,” he fingered an area on his map, “Lake Cazenovia?”

“Mhmm,” she pointed and explained that it was south by south east, “And it’s no trouble, you don’t have to apologize.”

Chris sighed and looked at her, he thanked her probably more than he needed to.

Playing it by the day, as he always had, Chris put the car into gear, and pulled away.

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